Looking out for (the REAL) number one ...

The most successful leaders choose to forfeit the prerogative to be self-centered.  Whether we choose to realize it or not, as leaders our responsibility shifts from doing what’s right for “number one” to doing what’s right regardless of “number one.”  One of the most powerful elements of reading through the Old Testament is reading about so many leaders (kings, prophets, priests, judges, etc.) who can teach us as much by how we shouldn’t lead as how we should.

One such example popped up to me this week as I read through Exodus 19 – 25, Psalms 69 – 75, and 1 Samuel 20 – 26.  In particular, some of the examples of King Saul are telling.  In 1 Samuel 23 we get a sense of some of Saul’s shortcomings, and a warning for us as leaders about some attributes to avoid.

In 1 Samuel 23:15 – 24a we can see one glaring example that’s all too common today …

One day near Horesh, David received the news that Saul was on the way to Ziph to search for him and kill him.  Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God.  “Don’t be afraid,” Jonathan reassured him. “My father will never find you! You are going to be the king of Israel, and I will be next to you, as my father, Saul, is well aware.”  So the two of them renewed their solemn pact before the Lord. Then Jonathan returned home, while David stayed at Horesh.  But now the men of Ziph went to Saul in Gibeah and betrayed David to him. “We know where David is hiding,” they said. “He is in the strongholds of Horesh on the hill of Hakilah, which is in the southern part of Jeshimon.  Come down whenever you’re ready, O king, and we will catch him and hand him over to you!”  “The Lord bless you,” Saul said. “At last someone is concerned about me!  Go and check again to be sure of where he is staying and who has seen him there, for I know that he is very crafty.  Discover his hiding places, and come back when you are sure. Then I’ll go with you. And if he is in the area at all, I’ll track him down, even if I have to search every hiding place in Judah!”  So the men of Ziph returned home ahead of Saul.

Saul says, “at last someone is concerned about me.”  Can’t you just hear the whiny little way those words must have come out?  From a king, no less.  Seriously?

Let’s delve into a little context here first … realize that Saul had long before this decided to hunt down and kill David.  Why?  Purely and simply, jealousy and fear.  Saul had seen David succeed in some key battles and watched as the Israelites celebrated David’s success.  The people sang songs about Saul and David’s battle victories, but in doing so elevated David’s successes above Saul’s.  Saul couldn’t take that and immediately distrusted David, trying several times to use David as the spear equivalent of a pin cushion.

David’s response?  Only respect for the king and his position as God’s anointed.  David had multiple opportunities to kill Saul and was encouraged by his David’s colleagues, but David refused, noting that Saul was God’s man until God decided he wasn’t any longer.

With that, let’s get back to Saul’s issue … because I maintain it’s quite like one that most, if not all, of us contend with day-in and day-out.  But before we do … a little grounding is needed.  You might say, “well, I’m not really a leader so why do I care how this all plays out for those in leadership roles?”  Let me correct you … we are ALL leaders in some way.  There is someone out there for EACH of us who is looking at us for an example, for direction, for guidance … whether we realize it or not.  If you’re a parent, you have kids.   If you’re an athlete you have your teammates and observers around you.  If you’re a student, you have younger classmates or schoolmates monitoring your actions constantly.  It’s an unavoidable reality … we don’t get to choose it … so we have to just deal with it.

As I said earlier, Saul’s issue was self-centeredness and fear.  He was so overly worried about himself that he lost focus on others around him whom God placed in Saul’s care as king.  Not only had that stimulated this burning-hot obsession for Saul to kill David, but it clouded and interfered with nearly every decision Saul made.  It separated Saul from God (in fact, the Bible tells us that because of Saul’s actions … motivated by his selfishness … that God’s spirit left Saul and God ceased answering Saul’s prayers).  In the end, it destroyed him … let me restate that … Saul destroyed himself.  The cause of death?   The cancer of self-centeredness.

We have the same issue.  When we are solely focused on ourselves we will make shortsighted, poor decisions, driven by the most feeble of motivations.  We alienate others, who begin to lose trust in us and refuse to subject themselves to a relationship that might only expose them to harm.  The fact is, when we’re overly focused on us, we can’t focus on others … so no surprise that others run for cover from us.  Additionally, God won’t honor us and our decisions if we seek Him out in selfish ways … this is the very antithesis of His desire for us.  The Bible is clear that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves (not a self-centered orientation), to serve one another, support one another, etc.  All of these are self-denying, not self-promoting.  Ultimately, and ironically, an overly self-centered orientation is self-defeating … and self-destroying.

So, what’s the answer?  In my former company, the leadership team aptly created a culture based on servant leadership principles.  The premise … that even up in the proverbial “executive suite” we were expected to put the needs of others ahead of our own needs.  In other words, instead of being self-centered, we were to be other-centered.  The commitment of individuals to this framework … a framework I believe God calls all of us to whether in business, school, family or whatever … accomplished something profound.  When I worry foundationally about the needs of others, and they in turn focus on meeting my needs, everyone’s needs are addressed and no one goes lacking.  That’s God’s intention for relationship within His people and His church.  No doubt it takes strength and trust and sacrifice – mostly sacrifice – but like an investment in the stock market, you can’t make profits if you don’t first let go of something (namely in that case, funds).

Think of it this way … when we look in a mirror, who do we see looking back?  Us, right?   What if when we looked in the mirror God displayed back to us the reflection of others who we need to serve, support, help, etc.?  What would that do to our daily interactions and behaviors?  No doubt it would be a constant reminder of who is number one in our lives.  Frankly, the Bible says God is Number One, and He says that all His people are to be number one to us as well.

This week, when we look into a mirror or window or other object that reflects our true image back, let’s ask God to give us a visual … even an imaginary one … of others that we should be focused on serving.   It could be our spouse, our friends, a parent, a family member in need, or even a complete stranger to whom we might be the only tangible evidence of God that day or ever.  We need to see differently in order to act differently, and that needs to start with how we see ourselves.

Go serve someone in an other-centered way!

To Christ (not to ourselves) be all the glory!

MR

Let HIM work!

Why is it that we tend to think … when things don’t go the way we think they should … that God needs our help?  That, somehow, He must be confused and must not “get it”.  He obviously needs us to step in and redirect Him.

This was what stood out to me as I read through the passages in my plan this week.  That included Exodus 12 – 18, Psalms 62 – 68, and 1 Samuel 13 – 19, but the particular section that grabbed my attention is found in 1 Samuel 13 (verses 7b – 14).  The Israelites had begged for a king, like the nations around them (most of which, interestingly, were their enemies), and finally the Lord allowed Saul to be selected.  At the very start of his reign, God enabled the Israelites to successfully battle the Philistines, destroying them in overwhelming fashion.  This only served to enrage the Philistines, creating a burning motivation for them to attack and defeat the Israelites.  Israel starts to lose confidence in the battle and its warriors begin to flee and hide.

We pick it up midway through verse 7 …

Meanwhile, Saul stayed at Gilgal, and his men were trembling with fear.  Saul waited there seven days for Samuel, as Samuel had instructed him earlier, but Samuel still didn’t come. Saul realized that his troops were rapidly slipping away.  So he demanded, “Bring me the burnt offering and the peace offerings!” And Saul sacrificed the burnt offering himself.  Just as Saul was finishing with the burnt offering, Samuel arrived. Saul went out to meet and welcome him, but Samuel said, “What is this you have done?”  Saul replied, “I saw my men scattering from me, and you didn’t arrive when you said you would, and the Philistines are at Micmash ready for battle.   So I said, ‘The Philistines are ready to march against us at Gilgal, and I haven’t even asked for the Lord’s help!’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering myself before you came.”  “How foolish!” Samuel exclaimed. “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you. Had you kept it, the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever.   But now your kingdom must end, for the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart. The Lord has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.”

Talk about a major flame-out!  Saul is king for an incredibly short time and fumbles his blessing from God away.  Before we get too terribly judgmental of him in this situation, let’s evaluate what happened a little more.

What was so wrong with Saul’s actions?  Seemingly, nothing when you consider that all he did was try to care for his warriors, made a sacrifice to the Lord, and as he said, he realized he hadn’t “even asked for the Lord’s help!”  It seems like a reasonable set of actions given what was going on, and probably seems to us like what we would have done under the same circumstances.

EXCEPT …

Just after Saul was anointed king, Samuel gave him a very clear set of instructions (1 Samuel 10:8) for once Saul arrives in Gilgal.  Those instructions specifically entailed waiting on God’s prophets, listening for God’s leading, and for Saul to “Then go down to Gilgal ahead of me. I will join you there to sacrifice burnt offerings and peace offerings. You must wait for seven days until I arrive and give you further instructions.”

These instructions in chapter 10 were not very far separated from what happened in chapter 13, time-wise.  But nevertheless, Saul did what a lot of us do when things don’t go the way we assume they will, or the way we think they should.  We panic.  We assume God isn’t paying attention.  We figure He must not be able to handle things the way we know they need to be handled.  Clearly if He would just ask us, we could tell Him what He needs to do.

We rationalize our actions … like Saul did.  He said, “my men were all running away from the battle.  I needed to do something to stop them.”  Or, “hey, Samuel, you were late … you didn’t get here when you told me you would.”  Or, “Samuel, you were going to come and make the sacrifices … but the Philistines were getting staged for battle and someone needed to do the sacrifice, even though you are a priest and are the only rightful person to do the sacrifice.”

We talk to God in the same way.  We say, “God, things aren’t going how I want them to, so I’m going to jump in and make sure I change things.”  Or, “God, I prayed about this, and You’re not answering yet.  You must not be listening … I can’t wait any longer … it’s time for me to act without you.”  Or, “God, if I just pray a certain way, or do certain things, you sort of owe me,” like Saul was basically saying when he willy-nilly threw together a sacrifice so that God would sort of be like a genie in a bottle … doing the sacrifice is like rubbing the bottle, with God obligated to grant your wishes.

What’s wrong with these points of view?

First, God has a plan that doesn’t have to and rarely ever does correspond to our plan.  But, His plan is always way better than ours.  Just because the Israelites were dismayed and running away didn’t mean that God wouldn’t serve the Philistines into Saul’s hands.  In fact, it could very well have been exactly the way God wanted to show Saul His power … by defeating the Philistines (again) on behalf of the Israelites.  Saul stepping in robbed God of the ability to possibly supernaturally deliver the Philistines into the Israelites’ hands.

Second, just because God hasn’t answered YET, doesn’t mean He’s not going to answer EVER.  As the saying goes, God is rarely on time, but He is NEVER late.  His timing is not our timing, but His timing is perfect.  We just have to allow Him time to let His plan develop in the way He intends for it to.

Finally, God doesn’t want us to pray in certain ways, and He certainly doesn’t want us to do something in exchange for Him to do something … in the extreme, that’s called extortion.  God wants our faithfulness, surrender, obedience and trust.  He’s not obligated to do awesome things for us because of and in exchange for these things, but our lives tend to align better to His plan when we do.

The problem is, just like Saul, we get in the way.  When God doesn’t act in predictable ways or ways that we (in our, er, infinite wisdom) expect He should, our natural reaction is to jump in and “help.”

God doesn’t need our help.  We just need to let Him work.  Give him time and let His plan carry out.  The best we can do is get in the way of what He is trying to do.  We mess it up, like someone that walks right in front of you when you’re trying to take a picture.

Let’s seek out God’s help in prayer this week, to ask Him for the strength, fortitude and trust in all things, but particularly let’s ask Him to identify areas where we are jumping in to “help” Him, where we’d be better off trusting the outcome He intends, in the time He intends it, in the way He lets it get carried out.

Praising God for you!

MR

Being REAL with God ...

How we interact with God can be a good indicator of the quality of our relationship with Him.  If we tend to chat with Him at the surface level only, it might suggest that our fellowship with Him isn’t as close-knit as it could or should be.  At the same time, being flippant in our communication could demonstrate that we don’t sufficiently acknowledge His preeminence over all creation.  Speaking in overly formal terms, replete with an assortment of “thee’s” and “thou’s” could signify that we don’t recognize enough the personal / interpersonal relationship He longs to have with us as our Father and Friend.

I realize these are incredibly fine lines, and there’s no hard-and-fast categorization of the way we converse with our Lord.  But it’s not wholly invalid, either.

Case in point …

My reading this week took me through Exodus 5 – 11, Psalms 55 – 61, and 1 Samuel 6 – 12.  Even though I highlighted a passage in Exodus 5 that moved me at the time, it wasn’t until just yesterday that I caught a second glance at this passage and it really spoke to me.

As Moses and Aaron go through their first interaction with pharaoh trying to convince him to let the captive Israelites go free, he instead tightens the grip around the Israelites’ necks by ordering them to produce bricks without the straw being provided, and with no requisite reduction in their quota.  Note this was after God had to virtually coax Moses into being the leader who would free God’s chosen people.  So after being rejected out of hand by pharaoh, Moses was beside himself, no doubt altogether frustrated and guilty at the result of his going before pharaoh when he didn’t want to and didn’t feel equipped to, especially after having to muster the courage so much.  Basically, he now made the Israelites’ plight astronomically worse.

Moses goes back to talk with God about the outcome.  Well, sort of “talk” … more like “holler.”

Then Moses went back to the Lord and protested, “Why have you brought all this trouble on your own people, Lord? Why did you send me?  Ever since I came to Pharaoh as your spokesman, he has been even more brutal to your people. And you have done nothing to rescue them!”

Wow.  Look at how Moses is confronting God!  No holds barred!  How could he talk to God that way?  Surely God must have just wiped Moses off the face of the earth … called down fire from heaven and fried him where he stood … let a nice clean bolt of lightning zap him … or just made him have a nice, healthy heart attack right there and then.  No doubt God would have said, “I’ll show YOU Who’s boss!”

Uh, not exactly.  Instead, God gets back on course and reminds Moses that He is going to deliver His promise to His people … reminding them that pharaoh is going to relent, in time.

Why didn’t God punish Moses?   Doesn’t Moses realize who this is?  I mean, he seemed to understand it when God was represented in the burning bush.

I would submit it’s precisely because Moses realized who God was that he pushed back so hard on God.  How can that be?  Let me explain.

God wants us to be real with him.  He wants us to open up … to bear our hearts to Him … even when it means expressing our perplexity and frustration when His plan doesn’t go according to our expectations.  First of all, God knows how we feel, so sharing that with Him is in a way honoring Him for who He is … our all-knowing, all-loving Father.  Secondly, it also is a way of our pouring ourselves out to Him … giving ourselves openly to Him without reservation.  Finally, it’s a measure of extending our love to Him.  By going back to God and showing his disappointment and aggravation, Moses is demonstrating His respect for and love of God.

When we open up to others, in a caring but candid way, we inherently demonstrate our love and respect for them.  Similarly, when we allow them to open up to us in a respectful and yet unfettered way, we are acting in love and respect for them.  In the same way, as business leaders, it’s contingent upon us to be open and candid, and yet caring in sharing feedback, goals or direction, thereby deepening the relationship and paving the way for greater trust and accomplishment.  When we make it easy for others to express their heartfelt feelings to us, we increase trust, aid in their growth, and in the process learn something for ourselves that can only enhance our success.

In our marriages, we have to express our hearts … in a loving way, of course … and allow our spouses to do likewise.  As guys, we struggle with this.   Either we “swallow” our real feelings, or we let our wives spill their guts, only to be half-listening or to have us overly focused on “fixing” things.  Fortunately, our God and Savior only desires that we bring our whole heart to Him, so that He may listen intently, seeking only to comfort us by reminding us that His plan remains intact and that His love remains undaunted.  He tells us (Matthew 11:28 – 30),

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

God is longing for us to invest openly enough into our relationship with Him to give it to Him straight.  To let Him know how we really feel … not because He doesn’t already know … but because He wants us to be REAL with Him.  He wants us to give Him all of ourselves.  He is waiting to listen, to hear, to give, to love, to comfort, to carry out His blessed plan for us.

In the end, Moses and Aaron served God enough that – through them – God was able to carryout the freeing of the Israelites.  Through Moses’s indignation in that moment, God showed His great love for Moses and for His people.  He can do the same with us.  He desires to do the same with us.   He wants us to pour out our hearts, and that needs to start with giving Him our heart.

This week, let’s prayerfully ask God to put a microscope upon our hearts, to help us to open up to Him more, to be REAL with our relationship with Him and to care enough to express ourselves with a holy, but reckless, abandon.

In the strong love of Jesus Christ,

MR

Tying our shoes

One of my early childhood memories was when I was really little and hadn’t learned to tie my shoes yet. I was stubborn and wanted to tie my own shoes (this was before the days of Velcro – ouch, it hurts to admit that).  Never mind that I hadn’t the ability to, or knowledge to; I didn’t want to be bothered by the details.    My parents tried to tell me that it would be better, on all of us, if I just let them tie my shoes for me, but no.  I had to do it myself.

Of course, I failed miserably.  I couldn’t do it on my own.  All I could accomplish was to frustrate myself and my parents and take a long time fiddling around with the laces, but alas, they failed get tied in the nice bow that my parents could achieve.  I was simply unwilling to wait, unwilling to let my parents do what (at that point, at least) only they could do, and unwilling to let go.  I insisted on doing things my own way, taking matters into my own hands.

My reading this week allowed me a view into a similar situation with the Israelites.  My journey through the Old Testament took me through Genesis 48 – 50, Exodus 1 – 4, Psalms 48 – 54, Ruth 3 – 4, and 1 Samuel 1 – 5.  In 1 Samuel 4 (verses 1 – 5) we find an apt lesson similar to what I learned in the whole “tying shoes” episode.

At that time Israel was at war with the Philistines. The Israelite army was camped near Ebenezer, and the Philistines were at Aphek.  The Philistines attacked and defeated the army of Israel, killing 4,000 men.  After the battle was over, the troops retreated to their camp, and the elders of Israel asked, “Why did the Lord allow us to be defeated by the Philistines?” Then they said, “Let’s bring the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord from Shiloh. If we carry it into battle with us, it will save us from our enemies.”  So they sent men to Shiloh to bring the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, who is enthroned between the cherubim. Hophni and Phinehas, the sons of Eli, were also there with the Ark of the Covenant of God.  When all the Israelites saw the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord coming into the camp, their shout of joy was so loud it made the ground shake!

The Israelites had experienced some successes after their wilderness wanderings … successes by the direct intervention of the Lord.  They had defeated their enemies many times.  Like a growing child, they began to have some positive experiences growing as a nation and began to develop expectations of being able to do what they set their efforts to.  But like a child, they didn’t have maturity to realize what they couldn’t do.  So when they suffered defeat at the hands of the Philistines, they were perplexed.  They decided to take matters into their own hands.  Set aside for the moment that they didn’t have the ability to win; that didn’t matter and certainly didn’t dissuade them.

We can be the same way, can’t we?  The second things don’t go the way we want them to … when God doesn’t fulfill our wishes the way we think He should … we revert to our own way of doing things.  We selectively set aside our memories about God’s blessing in our lives and try to take on a task we can’t do, or we figure He must need our help.  Forget that we haven’t the first clue how to bring ourselves the blessings God can.  Forget that we can’t see the things that He can see about our lives, the lives of those around us, etc.  Forget that He is all-powerful and we aren’t.  Don’t let the details get in the way.  We want to tie our own shoes and perish the thought of anyone … God included … telling us we can’t just yet.

Sure, there are things in life we can eventually learn and do on our own.  Tying shoes included.  It comes with surrender in early life, taking the time to learn and grow, letting someone else show us how it’s done, and then … in the right timing (God’s timing perhaps) … we might be ready to do it on our own.  But, there’s no skipping ahead, and there are at times certain things we’ll never be able to do.  It sure doesn’t stop us from trying, does it?  Sometimes it goes right past “trying” to “insisting”.

That’s what we see from the Israelites.  How’d it work out for them?  Verses 10 and 11 tell us.

So the Philistines fought desperately, and Israel was defeated again. The slaughter was great; 30,000 Israelite soldiers died that day. The survivors turned and fled to their tents.  The Ark of God was captured, and Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were killed.

It couldn’t have gone worse.  Just like (in a smaller, simpler way, of course) my trying to tie my shoes when I was a little kid.

When we take matters into our own hands, we are inherently refusing to trust God.  We wrongly assume we know what we’re doing … and compared to God, we haven’t the foggiest notion of how to run life.  It can only work out to our detriment.

Think about times when God didn’t seem to respond in the way you wanted Him to, or thought He should.  Or maybe He didn’t respond fast enough.  Maybe you figured a particular situation was too sensitive for God to handle, or that He was busier with other things and needed you to jump in to manage the small stuff.  How did those times work out?  I can attest, when I’ve done that … actually, when I DO that (because there are times when I still do) … it’s been a disaster.  I just screw stuff up.  I’m not able to do it the way God would, I don’t have the knowledge and context that God has.  It’s an epic failure.  Just like me trying to tie my own shoes as a little kid.

Bottom line, God has all the ability to do all He needs to do.  He has the knowledge, and He has the context.   Rather than trying to rush to do things we can’t, we should just wait for Him to work in the way He knows He should.   Instead of INSISTING we tie our shoes well before our time, we should just let Him tie them for us.  We’ll save a ton of failure and frustration in LIFE.

This week let’s prayerfully ask God to reveal to us what areas of our lives we are trying to take over … what are the areas where we’re trying to tie our shoes.  Let’s ask Him to give us the courage and patience to trust Him and let Him do what only He is capable of doing, and to remind us that there are areas where we don’t have the requisite knowledge.  And let’s ask Him to help us accept as such and to rejoice, even if He hasn’t tied them already, that He will tie them soon enough … as soon as He plans to … as soon as we need (rather than want) Him to.

Blessings in Christ Jesus,

MR