The
most successful leaders choose to forfeit the prerogative to be
self-centered. Whether we choose to
realize it or not, as leaders our responsibility shifts from doing what’s right
for “number one” to doing what’s right regardless of “number one.” One of the most powerful elements of reading
through the Old Testament is reading about so many leaders (kings, prophets,
priests, judges, etc.) who can teach us as much by how we shouldn’t lead as how
we should.
One
such example popped up to me this week as I read through Exodus 19 – 25, Psalms
69 – 75, and 1 Samuel 20 – 26. In
particular, some of the examples of King Saul are telling. In 1 Samuel 23 we get a sense of some of
Saul’s shortcomings, and a warning for us as leaders about some attributes to
avoid.
In
1 Samuel 23:15 – 24a we can see one glaring example that’s all too common today
…
One day near Horesh, David
received the news that Saul was on the way to Ziph to search for him and kill
him. Jonathan went to find David
and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. “Don’t be afraid,” Jonathan reassured him.
“My father will never find you! You are going to be the king of Israel, and I
will be next to you, as my father, Saul, is well aware.” So the two of them renewed their solemn
pact before the Lord. Then Jonathan returned home, while David stayed at
Horesh. But now the men of Ziph went to
Saul in Gibeah and betrayed David to him. “We know where David is hiding,” they
said. “He is in the strongholds of Horesh on the hill of Hakilah, which is in
the southern part of Jeshimon. Come
down whenever you’re ready, O king, and we will catch him and hand him over to
you!” “The Lord bless you,” Saul said.
“At last someone is concerned about me! Go and check again to be sure of where he
is staying and who has seen him there, for I know that he is very crafty. Discover his hiding places, and come back
when you are sure. Then I’ll go with you. And if he is in the area at all, I’ll
track him down, even if I have to search every hiding place in Judah!” So the men of Ziph returned home ahead of
Saul.
Saul
says, “at last someone is concerned about me.”
Can’t you just hear the whiny little way those words must have come
out? From a king, no less. Seriously?
Let’s
delve into a little context here first … realize that Saul had long before this
decided to hunt down and kill David.
Why? Purely and simply, jealousy
and fear. Saul had seen David succeed in
some key battles and watched as the Israelites celebrated David’s success. The people sang songs about Saul and David’s
battle victories, but in doing so elevated David’s successes above Saul’s. Saul couldn’t take that and immediately
distrusted David, trying several times to use David as the spear equivalent of
a pin cushion.
David’s
response? Only respect for the king and
his position as God’s anointed. David
had multiple opportunities to kill Saul and was encouraged by his David’s
colleagues, but David refused, noting that Saul was God’s man until God decided
he wasn’t any longer.
With
that, let’s get back to Saul’s issue … because I maintain it’s quite like one
that most, if not all, of us contend with day-in and day-out. But before we do … a little grounding is
needed. You might say, “well, I’m not
really a leader so why do I care how this all plays out for those in leadership
roles?” Let me correct you … we are ALL
leaders in some way. There is someone
out there for EACH of us who is looking at us for an example, for direction,
for guidance … whether we realize it or not.
If you’re a parent, you have kids.
If you’re an athlete you have your teammates and observers around
you. If you’re a student, you have
younger classmates or schoolmates monitoring your actions constantly. It’s an unavoidable reality … we don’t get to
choose it … so we have to just deal with it.
As
I said earlier, Saul’s issue was self-centeredness and fear. He was so overly worried about himself that
he lost focus on others around him whom God placed in Saul’s care as king. Not only had that stimulated this burning-hot
obsession for Saul to kill David, but it clouded and interfered with nearly
every decision Saul made. It separated
Saul from God (in fact, the Bible tells us that because of Saul’s actions …
motivated by his selfishness … that God’s spirit left Saul and God ceased
answering Saul’s prayers). In the end,
it destroyed him … let me restate that … Saul destroyed himself. The cause of death? The cancer of self-centeredness.
We
have the same issue. When we are solely
focused on ourselves we will make shortsighted, poor decisions, driven by the
most feeble of motivations. We alienate
others, who begin to lose trust in us and refuse to subject themselves to a relationship
that might only expose them to harm. The
fact is, when we’re overly focused on us, we can’t focus on others … so no
surprise that others run for cover from us.
Additionally, God won’t honor us and our decisions if we seek Him out in
selfish ways … this is the very antithesis of His desire for us. The Bible is clear that we are to love our
neighbor as ourselves (not a self-centered orientation), to serve one another,
support one another, etc. All of these
are self-denying, not self-promoting.
Ultimately, and ironically, an overly self-centered orientation is
self-defeating … and self-destroying.
So,
what’s the answer? In my former company,
the leadership team aptly created a culture based on servant leadership
principles. The premise … that even up
in the proverbial “executive suite” we were expected to put the needs of others
ahead of our own needs. In other words,
instead of being self-centered, we were to be other-centered. The commitment of individuals to this
framework … a framework I believe God calls all of us to whether in business,
school, family or whatever … accomplished something profound. When I worry foundationally about the needs
of others, and they in turn focus on meeting my needs, everyone’s needs are
addressed and no one goes lacking.
That’s God’s intention for relationship within His people and His
church. No doubt it takes strength and
trust and sacrifice – mostly sacrifice – but like an investment in the stock
market, you can’t make profits if you don’t first let go of something (namely
in that case, funds).
Think
of it this way … when we look in a mirror, who do we see looking back? Us, right?
What if when we looked in the mirror God displayed back to us the
reflection of others who we need to serve, support, help, etc.? What would that do to our daily interactions
and behaviors? No doubt it would be a
constant reminder of who is number one in our lives. Frankly, the Bible says God is Number One,
and He says that all His people are to be number one to us as well.
This
week, when we look into a mirror or window or other object that reflects our
true image back, let’s ask God to give us a visual … even an imaginary one … of
others that we should be focused on serving.
It could be our spouse, our friends, a parent, a family member in need,
or even a complete stranger to whom we might be the only tangible evidence of
God that day or ever. We need to see
differently in order to act differently, and that needs to start with how we
see ourselves.
Go
serve someone in an other-centered way!
To Christ
(not to ourselves) be all the glory!
MR
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